I’ll get Drunk

You see…

When you don’t have stories to tell,
and you are not a story to tell,
no one gets interested in you.
you live on the sidelines of every moment,
which in a good way gives you time to analyze and see things better,
but at the end of the day, you are no one to anyone.

and when things don’t change,
and this becomes your routine,
you get used to it,
when you get a chance to state your views,
people are astonished with what you say,
they think you are a genius but in fact your loneliness
drove you on a different map of clarity.
the only words they can think of after that are
lies and praises because those are the best things they can offer to 
someone they don’t feel like being friends with
and if you are stupid enough,
you fall for that, but in the other case,
you know what’s truly behind.

As time goes by,
you only count on yourself,
you stop believing in love, friends and family,
whoever believed in you in anything,
sees your real face,
your past reaches you and haunts you,
remorse and regrets are what you only think about
your mom that used to hold you,
suddenly gets tired,
and now more than ever you feel alone.

All the poems and quotes that come from a deep darkened heart,
are your moral songs everyday,
pain and fear are the best feelings you can feel,
you drown deep into your mess
but you get used to that.
in time all that you learnt,
is how to live because you only dreamed about that,
as a kid dreams of being a star and searches all about it.

in the end, you changed no heart, no soul, no one,
you are no use to the world,
you wish that no one ever gets to live what you went through,
so you write down all there is to know to live a better life,
and.wherever you are,
you find a bar,
you order a couple shots,
and you get yourself drunk,
you die, and get forgotten by anyone who ever met you,
soon enough, people won’t even remember that you existed.
but will hold on to what you wrote for them

Now that you know my fears,
what are you going to do about it?
honestly I can’t pretend
No more wide eyes
No morning cries
i just hope,
It’s not the end
No, It’s not the end.
Either way, i just wrote all there is to know to really live,
and i’m drinking tonight!

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