ANNOUNCEMENT: MY BIRTHDAY IS CANCELLED THIS YEAR

Hi, Everyone, Just writing to let you know that, in light of everything going on, my birthday is cancelled this year. (I mean, what isn’t?!) It just doesn’t feel right to be celebrating at a time when there are so many more pressing matters at hand. Obviously, I’ll still be doing a small family FaceTime, …

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I Need To Sleep

Alone in bed I look at the ceiling through the dark,Its cracks reform to become a question mark,I stare at the worn paint, try not to blink,It’s impossible to sleep so I start to think,I think of my friends, who have left our city,Gone abroad, where the future is supposed to be,We message each other …

The Sad, Beautiful Fact That We’re Going To Miss Almost Everything

Before  we start, understand and accept that the vast majority of the world's books, music, films, television and art, you will never see. It's just numbers. Sorry to break your heart. Consider books alone. Let's say you read two a week, and sometimes you take on a long one that takes you a whole week. …

You Wish To Be A little Taller? I Got You Covered!

People don’t realize the daily power they have to make others happy. All it takes is a few kind words, delivered without expectation. It’s not much, honestly. Giving someone a compliment or slight encouragement is the one thing any of us can do, at any time. It’s free, it’s easy, and, boy, can it do …

The Environmental Impacts of Breaking Up With Me

So you're thinking about breaking up with me. As unlikely as it may sound, you are not the first. Chances are you’ve got a lot on your mind right now, as you tackle such questions as: When should you do it? Where should you do it? Are you making a colossal mistake? Breaking up with …

Praises: Ode to Fat

Tonight, as you undress,I watch your wondrous flesh that’s swelled again, the way a river swells when the ice relents. Sweet relief just to regard the sheaves of your hips, your boundless breasts and marshy belly. I adore the acreage of your thighs and praise the promising planets of your ass. O, you were lean …

Your New First-Date Questions for the End Times

What do you do for work . . . in the few days remaining before robots take over your job?